Peer Review 11a for Gaby Marty

I decided to peer review Gaby Marty's outline adaptation on her intro/opening on child rearing. My comments on her intro can be found here.

An explanation of the peer review activity you selected for the project you reviewed

I chose to review the form of Gaby's intro for her standard college essay.

An explanation of how you think you helped the author with your feedback (in other words, how did you help them make their work better?)

I pointed out some of the conventions of the standard college essay that are pretty important to the standard college essay- point of view and formality of the writing.

An explanation of how you incorporated something from the suggested Student’s Guide readings (or any other course materials, if you’d prefer) into your feedback

Pg 135 of Rules for Writers says the point of view in any writing situation is consistent in person and number. The shifts in Gaby's writing from first to second then to third person is distracting and unconventional in a standard college essay.

One thing about their work that you admired or think you could learn from

Gaby is really good at pointing out the importance of her topic. Starting off with a strong argument on why the topic on one's essay is important captures the readers attention and makes the reader's experience better.