Peer Review 11b for Sarah Moskowitz

I decided to peer review Sarah's production report for her video essay.

An explanation of the peer review activity you selected for the project you reviewed

I tried to give content suggestions for her intro and first argument.

An explanation of how you think you helped the author with your feedback (in other words, how did you help them make their work better?)

I tried point out how the intro does not quite lead into the first argument used. The intro is a little vague about stating the purpose of the video essay- is it an evaluative arguement, a proposal arguement or another?

An explanation of how you incorporated something from the suggested Student’s Guide readings (or any other course materials, if you’d prefer) into your feedback

If there is one thing I learned about internet genres in this course is that the audience wants to know exactly what the essay is going to be about within the first 20 seconds of clicking on a link. That means the intro needs to be explicit about what the essay is trying to accomplish at the very beginning- ambiguous intro, audience decides to click on tempting cat video in the suggestions.

One thing about their work that you admired or think you could learn from

I like Sarah's use of pictures and statistics in her video. Also, the fact that she created screens that have her main points is very effective in driving her meaning home.