Peer Review 13a for Rigo Avila

I decided to review Rigo Avila's video essay on the Cancellation of the F-35 Lightning II. My comments on his blogs can be found here.

An explanation of the peer review activity you selected for the project you reviewed

• I decided to copy-edit Rigo's video

An explanation of how you think you helped the author with your feedback (in other words, how did you help them make their work better?)

• I tried to point out a part (his closing, which is integral to a fantastic essay) where Rigo was a little too repetitive to be effective. His closing had a fantastic ending but if it got tightened up a little, it would be much clearer and more effective.

An explanation of how you incorporated something from the suggested Student’s Guide readings (or any other course materials, if you’d prefer) into your feedback

• A writing rule is that parallelism is good but too much repetition is bad.

One thing about their work that you admired or think you could learn from

• I liked how he labeled his sources in the video. I also thought it as interesting how he dressed up in a suit to establish his credibility at the beginning but spoke in the rest of his video in a t-shirt. I think I will aim for a look in the middle- semi casual all the way through.